humor / writing

14 Things Writers Do Before 8am

todays authorThis is inspired by Jennifer Cohen over at Forbes who wrote a wonderful article on “5 Things Super Successful People Do Before 8am” (few of which I did, though I can claim #5). She includes chores like exercise, eat a healthy breakfast, map out the day–all great ideas, but not pithy enough for the average writer I know.

Here’s my list, gathered from chatting with friends (and a few efriends) about their daily ToDo list:

  1. solve the problems of the world
  2. wash Superman (or woman) cape
  3. figure out the equivalent of sticking twenty people in a phone booth–i.e., get kids ready and off to school with packed lunches and completed homework, arrange household repairs, get the dog sorted, talk significant other down from an emotional cliff, figure out how to make coffee by pouring hot water through yesterday’s grounds (forgot to buy coffee), and find your child’s lost iPad which must be brought to school every day now that class has a 1:1 initiative
  4. consult with muse on the next Great American Novel
  5. invent clever phrases like “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm” (though Winston Churchill has already come up with that one. Bollocks)
  6. invent clever humor like,”If b******* were oil, you’d be OPEC”.
  7. invent clever similes, like “Like a violin in a marching band”.
  8. move everything that wasn’t accomplished yesterday to today’s To Do list, which is most everything because there were a few emergencies that blew up what should have been a highly-productive yesterday
  9. reread the books about how anyone can write a best-seller.
  10. find the overlap between ‘common’ and ‘sense’
  11. figure out how many writers it takes to screw in a lightbulb
  12. find life’s undo key
  13. answer all Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Google Plus queries with friendly, pithy responses
  14. take a nap

What do you do before 8am?

More writerly humor:

How to Talk to a Writer

Do You Really Want to Try to Earn a Living as a Writer?

I’m a Failed Writer (Well, Yuvi Thinks… doesn’t really ‘think’ that–Never Mind–just watch the videos)

Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. In her free time, she is  editor of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a techno-thriller that should be out to publishers next summer.

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64 thoughts on “14 Things Writers Do Before 8am

  1. Fun humor here!
    And I have not read the article from Forbes – but the first thing that comes to mind when I hear anybody talk Abiut getting stuff done so early – I just hope they get enough sleep – even if it is napping

    I recently heard our culture is the “over” culture
    We are overworked – over tired – overwhelmed – something like that – and your list hear connected to that ina fun way – like the transfer of the to do list and the phone booth fitting – hahah

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. Before 8:00am, a shower, laundry in washer, walk around the village, stop for a café et le journal. make and eat breakfast after seeing to the kitties needs. Also, a quick check online for messages and Skype.

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. Haha, this is wonderful. I know what I’m missing in my morning writing routine now – the superwoman cape. I must get one. One thing I know for certain is that I spend far too much time on #13 most days. 😉 Thanks for sharing and brightening my day.

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. I think you’ve been spying on me. I wonder if published authors have the same list or a better one. Just sayin’…I doubt this is your list or maybe you’re still sleeping because you worked all night.

    Liked by 1 person

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  14. awesome……….. but writers are not awake at 8am, unless they are just getting home?
    btw…… Winston Churchill can kiss my arse! [Sorry about that last one but, I’m Australian and WC managed to get a lot of my countrymen killed, and he had two goes at it…. add to that the fact that EVERYONE says ‘black dog’ when they mean ‘depression’ and every black dog in the world suffers [just a little bit].


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  17. Thanks for the fun read! I’m a night owl, so most things are taken care of late at night (early morning). That counts as before 8 a.m. though, right?


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