This post is for Alex Cavanaugh’s Insecure Writers Support Group (click the link for details on what that means and how to join. You will also find a list of bloggers signed up to the challenge that are worth checking out like Kate and Rebecca who inspired me to begin). The first Wednesday of every month, we all post our thoughts, fears or words of encouragement for fellow writers.
This month’s insecurity: How stupid am I when my body gives in to pain?
I really worry about that. I get daily headaches, RA and AS (types of degenerative arthritis) chronic pain. Because these are daily, I can’t stop to let the pain work its way through my body. Most of the meds have little effect and I’ve gone through dozens. Some days are better or worse than others, but they’re all the same to me, just different degrees of discomfort.
I’ve had these problems over thirty years, so they are by now part of me and my part in the circle of life. Most people I know struggle with some sort of pain, be it physical, emotional, spiritual, or another. When I have a pain-free day, I feel like the heavens opened and God hugged me.
Mostly, He knows I can handle it.
Here’s what bothers me more than the pain: Because I can’t stop or slow down for something that occurs daily, there are times it causes me to do stupid things. Say something dumb, react the wrong way, do something I wouldn’t if I were rational–because I’m subconsciously reacting to the pain. I stay away from people (without being obvious) more than I used to to mitigate problems, but sometimes a commitment and a headache collide. I had a day like that last week and it still bothers me.
Most of you I’ll never meet so I feel safe confiding in you. I don’t feel sorry for myself at all. Just need a little support now and then. Thanks.
More IWSG articles:
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. In her free time, she is editor of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a techno-thriller that should be out to publishers next summer.