#IWSG–How Stupid am I When My Body Gives in to Pain?

writers groupThis post is for Alex Cavanaugh’s Insecure Writers Support Group (click the link for details on what that means and how to join. You will also find a list of bloggers signed up to the challenge that are worth checking out like Kate and Rebecca who inspired me to begin). The first Wednesday of every month, we all post our thoughts, fears or words of encouragement for fellow writers.

This month’s insecurity:  How stupid am I when my body gives in to pain?

I really worry about that. I get daily headaches, RA and AS (types of degenerative arthritis) chronic pain. Because these are daily, I can’t stop to let the pain work its way through my body. Most of the meds have little effect and I’ve gone through dozens. Some days are better or worse than others, but they’re all the same to me, just different degrees of discomfort.

I’ve had these problems over thirty years, so they are by now part of me and my part in the circle of life. Most people I know struggle with some sort of pain, be it physical, emotional, spiritual, or another. When I have a pain-free day, I feel like the heavens opened and God hugged me.

Mostly, He knows I can handle it.

Here’s what bothers me more than the pain: Because I can’t stop or slow down for something that occurs daily, there are times it causes me to do stupid things. Say something dumb, react the wrong way, do something I wouldn’t if I were rational–because I’m subconsciously reacting to the pain. I stay away from people (without being obvious) more than I used to to mitigate problems, but sometimes a commitment and a headache collide. I had a day like that last week and it still bothers me.

Most of you I’ll never meet so I feel safe confiding in you. I don’t feel sorry for myself at all. Just need a little support now and then. Thanks.

More IWSG articles:

Am I good enough? Does it matter?–#IWSG

Fear of Saying Dumb Things Scares Me to Death

#IWSG–The World is Changing–Can I keep up

Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. In her free time, she is  editor of technology training books for how to integrate technology in education. Currently, she’s editing a techno-thriller that should be out to publishers next summer.

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40 thoughts on “#IWSG–How Stupid am I When My Body Gives in to Pain?

  1. Belated response from me Jacqui. I had no idea you suffer from chronic pain. I am so sorry. Cortisone? It’s true that we learn to live with it so that it becomes a part of who we are …but. But, do you have to take on board your doctor’s prognosis? I’m not anti the medical profession – I have a great regard for them – am married to a specialist. But things like turmeric (anti inflammatory) helped me. Cortisone certainly helped me. Botox – a great help. May you have more pain free days.


  2. I know exactly where you’re coming from. Without giving too many gory details, what I can say is I have the same issues as you sometimes– public commitments on a day I’d rather stay curled up in bed. Which is why I’ve now chosen the writing life– I can hide better. 🙂


  3. Thank you for stopping by my blog! I’m sorry to hear about your chronic pain. It can so wear you down. Whenever people I don’t know do things I don’t understand, I tell myself not to judge or take it personally because I know nothing about that person’s life. It would be a nicer world if everyone showed a little more compassion to their fellow men and women.


  4. Jacqui,
    I know you suffer from chronic pain but didn’t realize how much it affects every moment of your life. I guess I didn’t pay close enough attention to the idea of “chronic pain.” It took a lot of courage to open up about it. I hope tomorrow is a really good day for you – pain free in all ways.


    • I could only say all this because this is a support group (and I should be more open) and my friends here will never know me in the real world. You, dear girlfriend, are the exception. Keep my secret!


  5. If we all realized that most of the hurtful or annoying things people say come from their own pain, maybe we would be more compassionate with each other. I’d have you over for coffee even if you were kind of stupid sometimes 🙂 Aren’t we all?

    All the best,


    • It has made me much more understanding of other people. There but for the grace of God…

      BTW, I’m becoming addicted to your blog. I just bought your book–I can’t wait to get into life back when.


      • Thanks for the very kind words! I was thinking of you and your post about chronic pain because last night my rooster attacked me with his talons and I have this gaping puncture wound in my Achilles tendon.

        I still had things to do this morning and I thought, “I can get through this just like, Jacqui.

        I will tell you this because you so often have inspired me to be a better writer and it’s obvious that you’re a friend of independent authors working on a shoe string while striving for a professional product. Someone just pointed out that I used the wrong there/they’re/their one time in the first chapter of the book! Please forgive that.I even paid a copy-editor who enjoyed the story so much he said he at times forgot to actually copy-edit–there was good and bad in that 🙂 These are the things that try authors’ souls!

        Anyway hope you enjoy!



    • Thanks, Silvia. God wouldn’t give me this if I couldn’t handle it. there are several things I couldn’t survive (death of a child or a spouse). This, piece of cake most days.


  6. I would never have thought you suffered from chronic pain, Jacqui, because you’re always so ‘up’ 😉 I admire you for writing about it here and I totally understand. Living with MS is an absolute pain (in more ways than one) for me. I just love doing physical work but hubby has banned me from getting on ladders, particularly with power tools because I’m SO uncoordinated and clumsy! It’s really frustrating and some days I just want to crawl in a hole.

    I’m interested in JF’s comment and hope they come back with an answer to your question.


    • That’s almost me. In fact for a while, they thought mine was PA not RA. No difference in the pain and damage, just the location. What do you do when you find yourself in public and you can’t get your body to cooperate?


    • You know that wonderful line for children–you’re not stupid, but what you did is stupid (or rephrased, depending upon the child). That’s what I mean. I don’t feel stupid–I actually feel pretty darn blessed–but there are times I do such idiotic things, no one who doesn’t know me will understand. Yikes.


  7. It’s tough when you have no reason to think this pain will ever go away. Constant pain can drag the spirit down in even the strongest person. I hope that you find some way of handling the problem so you can continue to write as you wish.


  8. Jacqui, did you try macrobiotic way of life? It is very effective! I started on it in1988. No headaches or other pains. No pain medications. If you want to get rid of headaches fast do acupressure daily. It is very easy to learn and it takes only several minutes. Best to you!


    • I did try acupuncture–no joy. I’ll look into macrobiotics and acupressure. I’m on botox right now–it has made them so much better. I’m stunned by the improvement. Not every day, but enough.


      • Acupressure is done by yourself. It becomes a very pleasant habit. You can do it only on your head and face to prevent headaches and to improve sleep, vision, to take out stress.
        If you have any local problems on the body you can also heal yourself applying fingers to certain points. pressing


  9. I always thought you were productive and had a great attitude from reading your blog, so I never would have figured that you had chronic pain. I hope you have more pain-free days


    • I think the perspective of chronic pain makes me understand how other people’s problems make them do weird stuff at times. You know? Life’s tripping along, doing its thing, and a sinkhole explodes under your feet and you yell F*** in front of your children. It happens.


  10. Jacqui you are an amazing woman and I guess to get through the pain you just keep going and never stop. I hope you get some pain free days I cannot imagine dealing with pain on a day to day basis. Im a wimp. Blessings to you xx


    • Mostly, I ignore it. I get wrapped up in life and it’s no more annoying than a tickle. Sunday–when I wrote this–no such luck. More like a dog bite–why did man’s best friend try to hurt me?.


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