Physical pain seems to be part of every thriller I’ve read. The main characters always get stabbed, stomped, smacked, punched, or shot, and that hurts. Of course, the author has to be much more creative about sharing that agony. I’ve collected the ways they do this that resonated with me.
A note: These are for inspiration only. They can’t be copied because they’ve been pulled directly from an author’s copyrighted manuscript (intellectual property is immediately copyrighted when published).
Here’s my list:
- His head hurt too much. His body hurt too much. It seemed that everything hurt too much. Slowly, his sense started to send reports back to his brain. There were bruises and cuts and scrapes and maybe some breaks. He kept his eyes closed, not because he didn’t want to see where he was, but he thought it would hurt too much to open them.
- Bogier hurt everywhere. His nipples hurt, his toes hurt, his watchband hurt, the elastic in his underpants hurt. His mind hurt. But his chest was the worst.
- A dull sciatic ache had settled into Gurney’s left leg.
- Ten seconds passed, and then twenty and thirty, and finally the pain started to pull back like the tide going out. It left his fingers first, and then slowly worked its way up his arm. Rowe took a couple of deep breaths and then started to walk again. He needed to find a pharmacy.
- Not just pain-tolerant, or pain-resistant—he’s pain-defiant
- A harsh half-stifled yell
- Every jostle sent ripples of pain through his shoulder, back and neck.
- The flesh wound still oozed blood and the entire right side of his body wore a purple-yellow smear of bruise. It hurt so bad he could hardly negotiate the raw landscape that strobed in and out of focus all around him
- Pain sheeted through him with a terrible intensity
- Pain felt like a sharp-toothed creature eating him from the inside
- The pain in his wounded thigh was searing.
- Ignoring the pain in his thigh, the blood seeping from the cut in his left arm and tried to move as quickly and quietly as possible
- grunted as he shifted, trying to keep his ankles from paining him
- in the thick soup of his brain
- did her ragged little insults result even in a flesh wound?
- didn’t so much regain consciousness as he began sensing pain
- He absorbed the trauma, swallowing the pain, then kicked his way slowly back to the surface.
- Pain was just an illusory sensation that his mind could shut down if it needed to, he told himself.
- Searing pain in his right shoulder
- Adjusted his position in the chair and felt fresh pain sear across his stomach
- he jammed his knee into my groin, sending shock waves of dull nauseating pain deep into my abdomen
- The Russian squealed in pain, dropped his gun and held his hands up to his blinded eyes.
- As he doubled over in pain, Carver karate-chopped the back of his neck
- he made a low growl again, straining to stand up to the pain
The black widow spider is identified by a red hourglass on its abdomen. The initial pain is not severe, but severe local pain rapidly develops. The pain gradually spreads over the entire body and settles in the abdomen and legs. Abdominal cramps and progressive nausea, vomiting, and a rash may occur. Weakness, tremors, sweating, and salivation may occur. Anaphylactic reactions can occur. Symptoms begin to regress after several hours and are usually gone in a few days.
The brown recluse spider is a small, light brown spider identified by a dark brown violin on its back. There is no pain, or so little pain, that usually a victim is not aware of the bite. Within a few hours a painful red area with a mottled cyanotic center appears. Necrosis does not occur in all bites, but usually in 3 to 4 days, a star-shaped, firm area of deep purple discoloration appears at the bite site. The area turns dark and mummified in a week or two. The margins separate and the scab falls off, leaving an open ulcer. Secondary infection and regional swollen lymph glands usually become visible at this stage. The outstanding characteristic of the brown recluse bite is an ulcer that does not heal but persists for weeks or months. In addition to the ulcer, there is often a systemic reaction that is serious and may lead to death. Reactions (fever, chills, joint pain, vomiting, and a generalized rash) occur chiefly in children or debilitated persons.
Tarantulas are large, hairy spiders found mainly in the tropics. Most do not inject venom, but some South American species do. If bitten, pain and bleeding are certain, and infection is likely. Treat a tarantula bite as for any open wound, and try to prevent infection. If symptoms of poisoning appear, treat as for the bite of the black widow spider.
More painful descriptors:
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is the author/editor of dozens of books on integrating tech into education, webmaster for six blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, adjunct professor of technology in education, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. You can find her book at her publisher’s website, Structured Learning.