Author Michael Smart (see my chat with Michael here) has a pet peeve about using too many words when fewer would do. If you haven’t read his riveting Bequia Mysteries, set in the unusual locale of St. Vincent and the Grenadines, you’re missing out. All three are tightly-woven, action-packed, and sprinkled with the authentic island culture of their Caribbean setting.
Michael published “Kill These Words! 10 Easy Rules to Enliven Your Writing” about a month ago on his blog and has given me permission to republish it here:
Lessons learned in a writing journey…
The use of weak verbs, plentiful adverbs, and unimaginative words, is a malady I encounter with increasing frequency among many indie-published authors. This weakness contributes to tepid sentences, dull narratives, and tedious unable-to-get-past-chapter 1 reading.
In our everyday lives, we all use a functional vocabulary, words we employ regularly and frequently in conversation and correspondence. In creative writing however, authors need to reach beyond the mundane language of our functional vocabulary, choosing words and phrases to provide color, texture, and flavor to the narrative. Words which engage the reader by creating vibrant images, suspenseful drama, and emotional responses.
Here is a small sample of weak words I’ve learned to aggressively seek out and destroy in my writing:
10 simple rules of thumb to help enliven your writing:
- Choose strong action verbs to enliven sentences, eliminate the need for adverbs, and avoid the passive voice.
- Reconstruct sentences in which the main verb ends in ‘ing’. This is a passive rather than active use of the verb.
- Scrub sentences containing auxiliary verbs (would, could, should).
- Rewrite any sentence beginning with there.
- Kill words ending in ‘ly’. Adverbs exemplify lazy writing. In almost all cases adverbs are unnecessary, often used to qualify a verb, signaling the verb is weak in the first place and needs to be replaced. Enliven sentences by choosing creative, ‘active’ verbs.
- “Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” (Mark Twain).
- Kill on sight any adverb in a dialogue tag.
- Pronouns are as unnecessary as adverbs. Pronouns are vague, sucking the imagery from a sentence. A specific subject provides greater strength and imagery in a sentence. “I hate and mistrust pronouns, every one as slippery as a fly-by-night personal injury lawyer.” (Stephen King).
- Excise unnecessary and ineffective words. Choose words possessing strong associations and imagery.
- Reconstruct any sentence using that as a relative pronoun or conjunction. While grammatically correct, that is an unnecessary word too often overused in lazy writing, contributing to overweight, clumsy sentences. Another often overused word to kill where it is unnecessary is the.
Final thought. Every rule has exceptions. Style, story, structure, may all require bending or breaking rules of grammar, passive versus active voice, and adverbs do have a place in prose when used judiciously, and for a specific purpose. None of which negates the need for authors to practice diligence and imagination when choosing words. Arguably, breaking rules may require even greater attention to word choice. Enter any author’s best friend, a thesaurus. “Writing without a thesaurus is like writing with a pen without ink.” (Me)The use of weak verbs, plentiful adverbs, and unimaginative words, is a malady I encounter with increasing frequency among many indie-published authors. This weakness contributes to tepid sentences, dull narratives, and tedious unable-to-get-past-chapter 1 reading.
More on words:
Writers Tip #65: Thing? Really?
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Reblogged this on For my writing journey and commented:
I have finished editing (yeah!!!), and now am about to go on to the next thing on the list, which is to write up some questions for the betas on a spreadsheet to help me get a better understanding of their comments. As I said last time, I’m intimidated by the thought other people will get to read it. Fingers crossed, I should have the questionnaire ready within the week, and from there on, I’ll take 2 days off, then I’ll start sending some of my short stories to magazines, and start outlining the next novel.
In lieu of this last round of edits (at least for this stage), I thought the following article by Jacqui Murray may be useful to some of you. Some of the words mentioned there are in my list as well. Some, I never thought of as problematic (yikes!).
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Thanks for the reblog, Chris. I like the spreadsheet idea, maybe even a collaborative one like Google Sheets. Or a Google Form. I wonder if that would make it easier or harder for betas.
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It’s well worth knowing the rules, but you also need to guard against applying them to the point where your writing becomes artificial. If the story is good, the job of the writing is to be invisible so that it doesn’t get in the way and distract attention towards the writing itself. I’m getting fed up of reading books which are all written in the exact same rushed and abrupt style, dominated by strong words to the point that it sounds like hail on a tin roof – it’s uncomfortable reading the stuff and it subtracts from the story. So, try not to overdo it – make sure you have given the reader enough space to relax.
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You’re so right, David. I’ve been reading setting-driven thrillers lately–like CJ Box and Anne Cleeves. I can enjoy the environ while the action happens around me.
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I agree. The author needs to be invisible on the page. Anytime the writing or words pull me out of the story I find it difficult to continue reading.
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Reblogged this on quirkywritingcorner and commented:
Using my words differently is the biggest change I’ve recently made to my writing. Normally, I used profuse descriptive words; now, I’m going with short terse words or phrases. I like the difference, but I’m not consistent.
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Thanks for the reblog.
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Thanks for the reblog. I actually find the process of choosing words a fun part of my writing.
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Brilliant. Mostly because it’s concise. Love all these tips.
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I agree. A few nuggets in there.
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Thanks Lana. The list is one of my must have tools for writing.
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As I await my editor to complete work on my novel, I wonder how many of these “mistakes” she will find.
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Jennifer, it depends on the collaborative relationship you have with your editor. If the words are used and spelled correctly, and you have not instructed your editor otherwise, your editor may not delete them. I asked my editor to highlight weak words in my manuscripts I may have missed on my own, and she has also developed a Style Sheet for my writing style. She has horrified reactions to seeing “was” or “that” in my sentences, and will send me notes asking if I really meant to use those words.
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Interesting. I’m chomping at the bit here now, wondering what to expect!
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LOL. BTW I enjoyed browsing your blog and loved the photos of the icebergs. Amazing!
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S/he better find all of them! I know I miss them constantly, even when I know what to look for.
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Fresh eyes alone can pick up what we are too close to see.
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Jacqui enjoyed and soaked up these helpful tips. Thank you i will be sharing with my writing group.
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Thanks Kath. Spread the word. I’d be interested in hearing the reactions of your writing group.
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Pretty down-to-earth, aren’t they? Love them.
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Gosh, I wish there was a print option because I would love to print this out and keep it by my desk. This is very helpful.
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Good idea–if you scroll up to right under the article, click more—and that’s where print is.
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Thanks, Jacqui – I’m going back to the article now to print.
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Thanks Kate, I hope you’ll find this list as useful as I have in improving my writing.
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Marvelous post. I try to enliven my writing and take out the weak words. That’s why editing drives me crazy.
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It’s a love-hate for me, Medeia. It does drive me crazy, but I truly like the changed prose so much better. Odd, hunh?
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Editing is where the finesse work gets done after the initial burst of creative energy. Where the gagged edges are smoothed and the work polished to a shine. As a sailor I think of it like varnishing, the tedious sanding between each meticulous coat of varnish, until the final gleaming result. Both are labors of love.
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I’ve gotten a shovel to bury banal words. Does a good job, even better is to choose strong words in the first place. I’m saving this post for constant reference. Thank you, Michael, for your intelligence, and thanks, Jacqui, for finding an article worthy of attention.
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My pleasure, Shari. This learning stuff never ends. I’ll miss you Monday, but think of me having fun with my son.
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You’re welcome. Thanks for the kind words.
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It’s so gratifying to be helpful to fellow authors. BTW I love the images on your website.
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Oops. Seemed to have repeated myself here. Not sure how. Sorry.
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🙂
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Jacqui, I visited your blog this week and took note of some of your writing tips. When I deleted ‘very’ from one of my sentences it read a lot better. I’m grateful for this post as it is a big help to a writer who uses too many weak words.
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It’s so gratifying to be helpful to fellow authors. BTW I love the images on your website.
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Thanks. It’s an amazing difference, as is deleting ‘that’ and ‘was’. It gets more complicated from there.
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Ha! My most recent pet peeve (discovered in two published novels, btw) was the dialogue tag, “…she added conversationally.” I’ve learned about most of these in critique group. Thanks for the list.
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Cringe!! Like fingernails on a chalkboard.
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I’ve definitely gone for the ‘she said’ dialogue tag, or indicating the speaker by actions. Everything else sounds contrived. Good to point that out, Lorie.
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Damn.
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Smart aleck! Oh–who can get angry at that darling green furry face.
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Well, my biggest fault is wanting to start every sentence with “well” or “so.”
So, I’ve been working very hard to stop doing.
Well, so far it’s working…
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Hehe. My husband and I laugh at how common it is to start a thought with ‘So…’ We do it now for fun.
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The most difficult part is recognizing these personal habits in our writing, and when we do, OMG they’re everywhere. But once we’re aware of them, appropriate steps can be taken to eliminate them, and with practice, we often develop more useful habits.
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Love this. Thank you Jacqui and Michael! 🙂
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You’re so welcome. Thank you for your comment.
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Anytime.
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You probably read each tip saying, ‘Check, check. Do this. Got that’. Yeah, some fine stories over on your blog, Tess.
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Thank you, Jacqui. You do my heart good. I do try, but still fail with many on this list.
You’d be surprised when I pass along these suggestions (if asked), people say, “Yeah, but, my writing won’t sound like my voice.”
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I’ll take # 6.
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I have a more colorful word I use when I’m annoyed. D***, so benign.
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LOL.
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I’m almost afraid to analyse my text now for fear of how many errors I’ll find! The first draft is always the worst, and often makes me cringe. But advice like this helps to create a list of things to exterminate on sight! Thanks 🙂
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I don’t self edit as I write so as not to interrupt the creative process, so my first draft is usually full of words I will eventually eliminate and find stronger substitutes for during revision. The revision process is when I work with this list. However after four novels I’ve discovered I no longer use these words as I’m writing that first draft.
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I wish that were true of me, Michael! I’m appalled how often I find these types of mistakes. I use a program called #Autocrit to help. They are ruthless about highlighting my every mistake.
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Unfortunately I still find those words sneaking in, and that pesky passive voice which means little gets done! It’s a useful list, and I guess the more books I write, the tighter my writing becomes, so there is that!
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Therein lies the importance of blogging–practice, practice, practice.
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It can never be repeated enough…practice, practice, practice
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Very useful. However, in some cases, the “mistakes” you are highlighting, may need to be a part of the story. For instance, if the speaker is a person who speaks in a certain manner, like “thank you so very much”.
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Ankur, I wouldn’t characterize these as mistakes, but a tool to tighten up the writing, and please see my comment above on dialogue in reply to Rod.
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I agree. I could not find another single word for describing something “that could be improved or tightened”, hence fell back on “mistakes”.
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I agree, Ankur. What a great character trait–always says ‘thank you so very much’. Readers would remember that guy. Like ‘always wears a bow tie’.
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Jacqui-this is great post. Thank you.
As a writer you can never have enough
tools to help you with cleaner, sharper
writing.
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Thanks. I totally agree.
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Thanks Jacqui – and Michael. Useful.
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You’re welcome Susan. Working with such a list when I write has been enormously useful.
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I think there is a difference between direct and indirect speech when it comes to rules like this. Some speakers will use adverbs quite a bit, and others – who don’t know the difference – may use adjectives to qualify verbs. Tennis players are given to this. ‘I knew I had to play more aggressive.’
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Dialogue can be considered outside the normal rules of narrative, where the only applicable rule is the dialogue must be authentic, and will depend on the character’s age, gender, nationality, emotional state, who they’re talking to and what they’re talking about..
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Hehe–I was writing my comment as you were–and we had the same thought! Nice.
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Yes–all rules are null during dialogue. And that’s a great point–breaking these rules is a great way to make a character stand out.
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