For the next few months, weekly writing tips will include word choice suggestions. That includes:
- colorful and original descriptions
- pithy words and phrases
- picture nouns and action verbs
- writing that draws a reader in and addicts them to your voice
I keep a collection of descriptions that have pulled me into the books. I’m fascinated how authors can–in just a few words–put me in the middle of their story and make me want to stay there. This one’s on how to describe rooms.
A note: These are for inspiration only. They can’t be copied because they’ve been pulled directly from an author’s copyrighted manuscript (intellectual property is immediately copyrighted when published).
- Viking, Miele, KitchenAid, Sub-Zero, separate freezer, wine cooler, radiant bulb cookers. Stainless steel and oak. Pots and implements sat in glass-doored cabinets along one entire wall.
- Oversized reading chair
- A lazy Susan in the middle of the table
- Between them was a pot of something steaming and one upside-down mug and an ashtray with a cigarette burning in it.
- Past the lobby, a central dining area held a dozen tables, all filled with patrons. A din of laughter and chatter, in Mandarin, inhabited the space as waiters moved quickly between tables.
- I could settle into a deep overstuffed couch, order a beer from a tuxedoed waiter and listen to the harp.
- On top of the table were two tea cups, both filled, tiny clouds of steam rising up from the tea. Two plates, on top of one was a hard-boiled egg, cracked open, and a piece of rye toast, a bite missing.
- Cabral’s threadbare apartment where like his bandmate Hernandez, he lived alone and sparely. There was no sign of a wife or children. No framed photos, no school drawings on the refrigerator.
- Entering this room always felt like entering a time warp.
- The walls were lined floor-to-ceiling in bookshelves, every inch filled, and in the corner of the room as a simple desk, neat and orderly, a few piles of paper stacked in the middle, and a small light on. In the center of the room, two red sofas faced each other across a large, round glass coffee table.
- Dickensian warren piled high with yellowed catalogs
More descriptors:
17 Ways to Describe Law Enforcement
57 Ways to Describe Talking in a Novel
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. She is the author/editor of over a hundred books on integrating tech into education, adjunct professor of technology in education, webmaster for four blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for TeachHUB, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. You can find her book at her publisher’s website, Structured Learning.
I’m bad about forgetting to describe my characters’ surroundings. It’s very important, but I get WAY too caught up in telling the story!
Stephanie
http://stephie5741.blogspot.com
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There’s definitely a balance. Some authors do so much describing, I’d call them ‘setting-drive’ as opposed to character- or plot-driven. I like equal measure of all three.
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Great examples. I love it when rooms seem solid in my head as I read.
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There are so many ways to describe them that have little to do with the pictures on the walls or the sofa and chair.
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You’re going to have to compile all these tips into one publication. Thanks Jacqui.
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I should have planned ahead for that one. I don’t have any of the attributions. Sigh.
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Nice work. 🙂
Anna from elements of emaginette
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Thanks, Anna.
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Excellent post… these expressions are so useful for those of us who speak-read-write English as a First Foreign language… Thanks for sharing Jacqui… Sending best wishes. Aquileana 😀
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I hadn’t thought of that, Aquileana. They are often a clever twist on language, aren’t they?
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Fantastic examples to which we may aspire. 🙂
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I realize I haven’t concentrated enough on room quotes, but these are pretty inspiring.
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They are! Thank YOU. 😉
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This is a great list, Jacqui. It must take a load of time researching these (I think I’ve told you this before) and it’s very much appreciated 😀
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Thanks, Dianne. I’m a pretty fast typist so doesn’t take as much time as you’d think!
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Are you sure it’s descriptions of rooms? I got stopped at lazy!!! and projected . . . A lazy judy in the middle of the table . . . or . . . Entering this room in my mind always felt like entering a time warp
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Hehee. Isn’t life a lot like rooms?
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I love this Jacqui!
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Aren’t they cool!
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Yes!
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I love this series of yours, Jacqui! 🙂
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Thanks, Carol. It often keeps me going as I struggle with editing. I get lots of ideas from these great writers.
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Don’t forget smell. “The room smelled old, stale cigarettes, dust and a faint hint of last night’s fried fish hit the detective as she opened the door.”
or something like that.
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Yes–all the senses. Life isn’t authentic without those.
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Great list! I really need to work on my descriptions to be able to evoke images the way these do.
Incidentally, where does #9 come from? I feel like I’ve read it before.
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I’m sorry–I don’t remember. I often thought I should include credit, but I know I would have not kept the list then. And as long as I’m well below 10% of the book, I’m within copyright laws. Sigh.
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A great list, Jacqui. How a person lives describes who they are as much as what they say, where they work, and how they choose to dress. Other items to consider are the view from the windows, the lighting, the height of the ceiling, and the sounds, as music playing or TV chatter.
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Great list, Shari. Sometimes, those are the most important. Sounds–I forget about those too often.
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I love your lists and prompts, Jacqui. They’re such great resources!
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Thanks! I found them so useful in my writing, I wanted to share with readers. Sometimes, seeing how others have said it is all that’s necessary to craft our own unique description.
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Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog and commented:
Here is a great post on various ways to describe a room.
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Thanks for the reblog, Don!
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You’re welcome. Great post
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I do like well-described rooms as it places the reader immediately. Personally, I could happily have an oversized reading chair – already imagining it!😀
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We find such comfort in surroundings. They put us at ease or on edge. It’s easy to skip by them in our writing, and we (meaning I) shouldn’t.
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Oh no, not just you, Jacqui! I’ll be busy writing the ‘exciting’ part, then re-reading realise something is missing and it is that detail which brings it all to life. So important. Thank you for the examples and reminder!
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Always love the oversized reading chair. Great list, Jacqui!
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When my kids were little, I bought two readings chairs. They were each sized for two, so worked well with our family of four. Not four adults though–that gets a bit tight!
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“A Room with a Description”, E M Forster might have said…
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And he would have been right. It’s always in the eyes of the beholder, innit.
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wonderfully descriptive – images come immediately to mind, thanks Jacqui!
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You can see why I couldn’t gloss over these in the books I read. I had to save them.
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