
For the next few months, weekly writing tips will include word choice suggestions. That includes:
- colorful and original descriptions
- pithy words and phrases
- picture nouns and action verbs
- writing that draws a reader in and addicts them to your voice
I keep a collection of descriptions that have pulled me into the books. I’m fascinated how authors can–in just a few words–put me in the middle of their story and make me want to stay there. This one’s on how to describe eating and drinking.
A note: These are for inspiration only. They can’t be copied because they’ve been pulled directly from an author’s copyrighted manuscript (intellectual property is immediately copyrighted when published).
General
- Ate with more relish than the food warranted
- I mumbled through a mouthful of beef koon po.
- salmon steaks while Faith made rice and fixed a salad.
- Said finally, shoveling another bite of eggs into his mouth.
- Got the words out through a mouthful of roast beef
- Between bites
- Asked through a mouthful of sushi
- Popped it into her mouth, and said around it
- Nodded as he took another bite
- She asked between bites of calamari
- Asked around a mouthful of…
- Ate a tasteless sandwich
- A steak with sautéed mushrooms and caramelized onions on top
- Spooned into bowls without a lot of ceremony
- She took a slug of the drink
- To avoid potentially poisonous plants, stay away from any wild or unknown plants that have–
- Milky or discolored sap.
- Beans, bulbs, or seeds inside pods.
- Bitter or soapy taste.
- Spines, fine hairs, or thorns.
- Dill, carrot, parsnip, or parsleylike foliage.
- “Almond” scent in woody parts and leaves.
- Grain heads with pink, purplish, or black spurs.
- Three-leaved growth pattern.
Alcohol
- He poured four fingers of off-brand scotch out of the Johnnie Walker black bottle. He inspected the level in his glass and poured soe more.
- Ice clinked gently in the glass as she rolled it absently between her hands.
- Took a pull on a beer
- I’ll nurse this (a drink)
- Swilling his beer
- Gulping down a beer
- All foam and no beer
- The coffee was bitter and so hot it blistered my tongue
- I brought donuts and he supplied some really awful coffee
Restaurants
- Sitting in a red vinyl booth at Martha’s Diner, picking at her tuna salad and listening to Frank and Doug gossip
- Like what, I said around the bite
- Having drinks and sandwiches and laughing often
Hungry
- Getting shot at and knocked in the head made me hungry
Eating
- He blessed himself and started to eat
- I washed down a bit of stuffing with a swallow of beer.
- Look virtuous with cottage cheese rather than despicable with a Pop-Tart, she reckoned
- Click for the complete list of 69 writer’s themed descriptions.
Most popular collections:
47 Ways to Describe Buildings–Homes II
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Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular prehistoric fiction saga, Man vs. Nature which explores seminal events in man’s evolution one trilogy at a time. She is also the author of the Rowe-Delamagente thrillers and Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. Her non-fiction includes over a hundred books on integrating tech into education, reviews as an Amazon Vine Voice, a columnist for NEA Today, and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. Look for her next prehistoric fiction, Savage Land, Winter 2024.
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I love putting food in my fiction, Jacqui. In fact, so do my readers it seems. The feedback (a.k.a. making their mouths water) on a certain shared cardboard plate of “chips” and gravy in Calmer Girls has been generous!
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I hate (read that: love) when that happens in good books. I have to stop and get something to eat!
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I love lists like this! Thanks
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Thanks. They have developed a life of their own over time.
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Mentioning food in a novel is a great break from the action (or situation) and puts us right there with the characters. I remember when I read Angela’s Ashes and was hungry through the entire novel because of the constant underlying theme of the children’s hunger – it was a very powerful tool! 😉
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That’s true–food is something everyone relates to. I think that’s why I copied so many about talking while eating.
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Very descriptive and this has made me hungry.
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Ah, me too. Luckily, it’s dinner time.
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Knowing where to find these helpful posts quickly have seemed God-sent a few times since I met you, Jacqui. Y’all likely don’t run into the wall, blinded by what you want to write, but linking to these posts you share has helped primed my pump a few times – once the bleeding stops 😉 Thank you!
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I have descriptions I struggle over. Like: How to show a character eating while talking. It seems fairly common to write something along the lines of “said around bites” sort of approach.
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Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog.
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Thanks for the reblog, Don.
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You’re welcome.
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Reblogged this on quirkywritingcorner.
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Thanks for the reblog.
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Eating, hunger, telling myself I’m not hungry, not being hungry are all games for someone who fights with food as an addiction. Of course, there’re many more words this individual will use and possibly all in one day.
The single bite of a baked potato is as wrong as one swallow of their signature drink. There’s no looking back.
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That would be a worthy addition to this list–words that aren’t quite so friendly to eating.
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I’ve always liked the word ‘swilling’…excellent list.
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It is a good world. Evokes waves and being just on the edge of out of control.
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Yes…and swine! (at least for me) 🙂
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Getting shot and knocked in the head could make someone hungry? That’s not a phrase I’d be tempted to steal, unless it’s supposed to be funny! 🙂
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It was supposed to be humorous–one of those tongue-in-cheek detective novels.
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Ah good. Otherwise… 🙂
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I must tell you, I just followed your blog. I love your sense of humor!
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Eating is such an essential part of what we humans do and it provides a natural backdrop to all kinds of stories. Your list is wonderful and I find some of it very funny. Did you notice how often people talk with their mouth full?
I really like the first one: ate with more relish than the food warranted. It brilliantly suggests unease in the situation.
Lots of inspiration here, Jacqui, thank you.
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Sometimes, these lists focus on what interests me and I recall wondering how to describe someone who talks while they chew. That’s probably why you found so many examples of that.
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Inspiring collection! I collect vocab words (several thousand, ever since 2003!) and quotes. Well, happy August – come over to my blog to send me some happy August wishes of your own! 🙂
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I collect both of those also. Something about a pithy vocab word that makes me happy…
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Wonderful suggestions, Jaqui!
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Thanks. I give credit to a whole lot of excellent writers.
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Thanks so much!
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I’ve always wanted to use a variation of, “The smell of alcohol bit him as he raised his glass.”
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Depending upon the alcohol, that’s pretty accurate. don’t you think?
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The stronger the stuff, the harder the bite.
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This is a lovely list for inspiration!
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It is! These are the ones I simply couldn’t read past without noting.
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
Some great tips from Jacqui 😀
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Thanks for the reblog, Chris!
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Welcome Jacqui – great post 👍😃
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Great list, Jacqui!
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Thanks, Jill. I keep adding to it, the more I read.
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“A steak with sautéed mushrooms and caramelized onions on top” Wow, I sure liked this one. It made my mouth water and salivate. I could see it right before my eyes as if I had a dinner plate ready for it.
“Ice clinked gently in the glass as she rolled it absently between her hands.” Like Rodhart this is a favorite of mine too. It paints the picture perfectly so that I felt I was right there.
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Aren’t they great? Those caramelized onions add the idea of a chef, one who cares a bit more about the meal’s presentation–so much extra to the word picture.
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Great collection. Inspired to use such expressions in my writings. I now do brand building for a star hotel and could do with some of these types.
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I bet you constantly seek out believable, emotional word pictures. I’m better at finding them than creating them. Good luck!
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Well, I was always told not to eat with my mouth full: some of these characters may not have been. Either that, or they ignored the advice.
‘Said finally, shoveling another bite of eggs into his mouth.’
Liked this one:
‘Ice clinked gently in the glass as she rolled it absently between her hands.’
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So true. You get that disgusting image of a person talking with their mouth open and full. Yuck! But great to describe a disagreeable character.
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“parsleylike foliage” is a neat description of what one might guess was intended as a salad 😦
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Especially for those characters who aren’t culinary-minded and can’t think of the decorative name–cilantro? What the heck is that called?
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