
For the next few months, weekly writing tips will include word choice suggestions. That includes:
- colorful and original descriptions
- pithy words and phrases
- picture nouns and action verbs
- writing that draws a reader in and addicts them to your voice
I keep a collection of descriptions that have pulled me into the books. I’m fascinated how authors can–in just a few words–put me in the middle of their story and make me want to stay there. This one’s on how to describe work buildings.
A note: These are for inspiration only. They can’t be copied because they’ve been pulled directly from an author’s copyrighted manuscript (intellectual property is immediately copyrighted when published).
General
- My office looks like IKEA threw up in it . . . except for my black Kathy Ireland computer armoire which houses stacks of paper and office supplies and a bunch of real estate contracts I haven’t filed yet. I have a brown-black IKEA corner desk with metal legs, a high-back leather chair, and a laser and ink jet printer on IKEA tables on the opposite wall. I have brown-black IKEA corner book shelves – one shelf has literature and the other side has textbooks from grad school and my degrees which are collecting lots of dust. I have a view of my deck and the woods in my back yard where deer and rabbits frequently romp. I can also see my crazy neighbor in his thermal underwear while he’s letting the dogs out. It’s not pretty…can’t wait until the leaves come in.
- When you enter my office there is a dark walnut bookcase lining the entire left-hand wall. There is a leather sofa with a fur rug over the back and an Indian blanket draped over the arm. The far wall has a large fireplace and mantle dominating the center, with bookshelves lining it on either side. On the mantle, I have two antique clocks and a painting of three jazz musicians. There is a television on the shelf to the right, but I only use it for XM radio. In front of that shelf is an upright piano and bench in dark walnut. Hanging on the wall above the piano is an abstract painting of jazz musicians. There is a double door between my desk and the piano which leads out to the patio. The view through the door panes is a southern pine forest. This side of the door is my desk. It is a large walnut piece — rather imposing, with glass over the top. Think early 1900s. My chair is Captain style on wheels with leather seat and back. To the left behind me is another bookshelf atop a matching file cabinet. The ceiling fan keeps the air moving in an otherwise enclosed space.
- If you leaned way back in the chair and cranked your neck hard over, you could see the sky from my office window, delft-blue and cloudless and so bright it looked solid.
- Inside, the office was small and cold. Four cubicles shared an empty common area. The carpet was sea green. There was one window, vertical, narrow and fortified with chicken wire.
- The office was cluttered with the detritus of scholarship. There were books piled everywhere, and manila folders on the top of a long mission oak table under the windows. A Macintosh word processor sat on a corner of her desk, hooked to a laser printer on a small end table beside her.
- Surveyed the office: big messy desk, file cabinets, an old wooden wardrobe, a poster on one wall, a gruesome photographic blowup of a man’s face beside it.
- A hive of activity
- Cracking the door allowed me to squeeze into the room. eight by eight, with a lav half that size; all the charm of an MRI chamber
- Knew what I would find inside—faded curtains, a limp buffet for breakfast, and a pair of potted palms clinging to life
- As he talked, he straightened the stuff on his desk, making sure everything was square and properly spaced. There wasn’t much: a phone, a legal-sized lined yellow pad, a translucent Bic pen with a black top, and a big plastic cube with pictures of his wife, his children and a golden retriever.
- Lovely mahogany desk
- The brick and asphalt and neon were blurred by distance and sunshine and beneath it, I got a sense of the land as it once must have been
- The town seemed to pulse with life and excitement
Building
- The building was empty for the night and the occasional faraway drone and jolt of the elevator only added energy to the silence.
- A short, squat tower topped by a wide, gently sloping octagonal roof
- Glass-and-concrete shopping arcade where the boutique sat uneasily between a butcher’s and a shoe shop.
- Nothing fancy about the building. It was simply a solid construction, a bit like the man it served.
Click for the complete list of 69 writer’s themed descriptions.
Recent collections:
10 Ways to Describe Furnishings
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy, and the thriller, To Hunt a Sub. She is also the author/editor of over a hundred books on integrating tech into education, adjunct professor of technology in education, webmaster for four blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for TeachHUB, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. You can find her books at her publisher’s website, Structured Learning.
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I roared from the beginning at “My office looks like IKEA threw up in it.” LMAO!
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Not a good thing–right? I switched to Sligh and Thomasville.
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Well-played, both times. 🙂
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Reblogged this on quirkywritingcorner.
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Thanks for the reblog.
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Fantastic ideas, Jacqui. Bookmarked again! 😀
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Thanks, Diane. I need to add some descriptors for home offices, for the likes of you and me.
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🙂 We’re special 😉
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Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog.
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Thanks for the reblog, Don!
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You’re welcome
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Great descriptions, Jacqui! I liked this line in particular: “The office was cluttered with the detritus of scholarship.”
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It does say so much, doesn’t it, in just a few words. Some writers are amazing!
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Great examples to get the descriptive juices flowing! I still have to force myself to stop in the midst of the action and describe where the characters are – I get caught up and forget that people want to know these details! It’s generally my second draft that such detail get added – after I roll my eyes and grab for the ever handy red pen 🙂
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Me, too, and it’s exactly where I am in my current WIP. I get rolling with the action and realize that all the detail is still in my brain–the scents, memories, all that stuff. Good grief.
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Totally with you there!
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The only thing my MC doesn’t like about her office is the overhead light, fluorescent, square, and doesn’t shed light where she wants it. She buy a desk lamp and turned off the one overhead.
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Yep. I have a few overhead lights in my house and they are too glaring. I like the desklamps better.
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Nice Jacqui. Reading your book, I can see how your lists inform your ability to describe things and people in fresh and interesting ways. Wonderful 🙂
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They do that. When I realize a passage is boring, I go to these lists, troll for inspiration. It usually works.
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Great tips! I’d add that most offices now are open-plan, which means no walls between employees. Those of us who worked in a cubicle-based office may picture that when we’re writing an office.
Stephanie
http://stephie5741.blogspot.com
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I remember my first cubicle office. It was so loud! Very difficult to talk to customers. I suppose it’s an acquired taste.
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Excellent writing, but I agree with about the second one with Sharon Bonin-Pratt.
LOVE the first line, “My office looks like IKEA threw up in it…”
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Yes, IKEA has become synonymous with thrown together. It’s actually a pretty nice look, but easy to make fun of.
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So true Jacqui. I love the description, though. 🙂
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very interesting post tho i find the first entry would have been perfect with the first and second sentences and all the in-between description scrapped.
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Hehe. I can see that. I do have desks and offices in Kali’s story, so that’s probably why I was drawn to these snippets.
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These posts are the next best thing when there’s so many books and so little time! Thanks, Jacqui!
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They’re fun. A good way to kick-start the imagination.
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Goodness, I don’t know that I could work in that environment. I need a little craziness to keep me focused. Loved the descriptions!
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I mostly like if I’m creating the craziness, not someone else. Then, I find it distracting!
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Yup! Been to some of these 🙂 I wonder if one, or more, describe the office of today…two twenty nothings playing ping pong in the middle of the factory shed that serves as the office for the startup, a girl shouting across the table to a couple of colleagues unable to hear as they are wearing headphones the sound from which can be heard by the shouting girl, battery packs, speakers, iPads, walk-o-meters carelessly strewn around, and so on…
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Those are great, Ankur. Truthfully, it sounds like Google, but it could easily be any number of other office set-ups. Good ones.
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Great ideas Jacqui!
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Aren’t they great? I couldn’t resist copying an image from your latest post (yeah, I’m a dog-lover too):
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I loved this, Jacqui! “My office looks like IKEA threw up in it.” That’s a classic! 🙂
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Ikea evokes a certain image. I love that one, too.
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Jacqui, great assortment of descriptions – wouldn’t mind a couple of these offices! Some too cold – but just shows how well the descriptions works. Love the phrase: ‘The office was cluttered with the detritus of scholarship.’ That’s my excuse from now on!😀
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That word ‘detritus’ definitely conjures up an image. Files, books with bent pages, scrawled notes. Sounds like a writer!
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