Today, I’m hosting Ryan Lanz, avid blogger over at Ryan Lanz.com and author of The Idea Factory: 1,000 Story Ideas and Writing Prompts to Find Your Next Bestseller. He has some great ideas on dialogue tags I think you’ll enjoy:
Writers use dialogue tags constantly. In fact, we use them so often that readers all but gloss over them. They should be invisible. However, there are ways to misuse them and make them stand out.
In an effort to avoid that, let’s take a closer look at dialogue tags. Toward the end of “Tag travesties” is something I sorely wish someone had told me before I started writing.
Why do we use dialogue tags?
The simple answer is that we use them to indicate who’s speaking. In visual media, such as movies or television, the viewer can easily tell who’s talking by lip movement and camera angles. When reading a book, obviously that’s not an option.
Tag travesties
There are certainly ways to misuse dialogue tags. When I was a new writer, I felt compelled to overwrite. I ‘m sure every new writer goes through a version of this. I observed how successful writers used simple tags like “said/asked” and thought to myself, that’s boring. I’m going to be an awesome writer by making them more interesting. You don’t have to admit it aloud, writers, but we all know that most of us have. Let’s look at an example of this:
- “We can’t cross this river,” Alanna exclaimed repugnantly.
- John crossed the room and shouted disgustedly, “I’ll never take you with me.”
- “This has been the worst day ever,” Susie cried angrily.
For those of you who still aren’t convinced, let’s up the dosage with a paragraph:
Hank crossed the room and sat down. “We should have never waited this long for a table,” he seethed, leaning over to glare at her.
“If you wanted a better spot, you should have called ahead for a reservation,” Trudy returned pointedly.
“Well, perhaps if you didn’t take so long to get ready, I could have,” he countered dryly.
Can you imagine reading an entire book like that? *shiver*
So why do new writers feel the urge to be that . . . creative with their dialogue tags? Back in the beginning, I thought the typical tags of “said/asked” were too boring and dull. It didn’t take me long to realize that dull (in this context) is the point.
Image your words as a window pane of glass, and the story is behind it. Your words are merely the lens that your story is seen through. The thicker the words, the cloudier the glass gets. If you use huge words, purple prose, or crazy dialogue tags, then all you’re doing is fogging up the glass through which your reader is trying to view your story. The goal is to draw as little attention to your actual words as possible; therefore, you keep the glass as clear as possible, so that the reader focuses on the story. Using tags like “said/asked” are so clear, they’re virtually invisible.
Now, does that mean that you can’t use anything else? Of course not. Let’s look further.
Alternate dialogue tags
Some authors say to never use anything other than “said/asked,” while others say to heck with the rules and use whatever you want. Some genres (such as romance) are more forgiving about using alternate dialogue tags. I take a more pragmatic approach to it. I sometimes use lines like:
“I’m glad we got out of there,” she breathed.
The very important question is how often. I compare adverbs and alternate dialogue tags to a strong spice. Some is nice, but too much will spoil the batch. Imagine a cake mix with a liter of vanilla flavoring, rather than the normal tablespoon. The more often you use anything other than “said/asked,” the stronger the flavor. If it’s too powerful, it’ll tug the reader away from the story and spotlights those words. In a full length book of around 85,000 words, I personally use alternate dialogue tags only around a few dozen times total.
By saving them, the pleasant side effect is that when I do use them, they pack more of an emotional punch.
Action beats
I have a love affair with action beats. Used effectively, they can be another great way to announce who’s talking, yet at the same time add some movement or blocking to a scene. For example:
Looking down, Katie ran a finger around the edge of the mug. “We need to talk.”
That added some nice flavor to the scene, and you know who spoke. The only caveat is to be careful of not using too many action beats, as it does slow down the pacing a tiny bit. If you’re writing a bantering sequence, for example, you wouldn’t want to use a lot of action beats so as to keep the pacing quick.
Dos and don’ts
Sometimes, action beats and dialogue tags have misused punctuation. I’ll give some examples.
- “Please don’t touch that.” She said, blocking the display. (Incorrect)
- “Let’s head to the beach,” he said as he grabbed a towel. (Correct)
- Sam motioned for everyone to come closer, “Take a look at this.” (Incorrect)
- Debbie handed over the magnifying glass. “Do you see the mossy film on the top?” (Correct)
Conclusion
Like many things in a story/novel, it’s all about balance. Try alternating actions beats, dialogue tags, and even no tags at all when it’s clear who’s speaking. By changing it up, it’ll make it so that no one method is obvious.
More on dialogue:
Writer’s Tip #22: When to Use Said as a Tag
Writer’s Tip #21: Dialogue vs. Narrative
Is Your Dialogue More Sigh than Sizzle?
Dialoge Vs. Narrative: A Primer
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy, and the thrillers, To Hunt a Sub and Twenty-four Days. She is also the author/editor of over a hundred books on integrating tech into education, adjunct professor of technology in education, webmaster for four blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for TeachHUB, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. You can find her books at her publisher’s website, Structured Learning.
Pingback: Writers Tips #102: 17 Tips from The Careful Writer | WordDreams...
Pingback: MLM No “B” – Dialog Tags | The Mad Grad Student
Great post as always. Love my visits to your blog.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Lee. This one was spot on for me, also.
LikeLike
Excellent post Jacqui. I love Ryan’s blog, always full of great writing tips like this one. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve noticed that. He is great at curating blog posts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is a super article which I’ve bookmarked for future reference. One point I’ve been trying to find the answer to in the past week and supplied here perfectly! Brilliant. Many thanks!😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Annika. I think Ryan clarified so many confusing parts of dialogue tags.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog and commented:
Check out this great post on dialogue tags from the Word Dreams blog
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the reblog, Don!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Friday Roundup | Stevie Turner, Indie Author.
Hi Jacqui and Ryan – excellently well explained … and oh how easy it is to think we can write, yet the fact is … it is such a difficult discipline. I’m stopping now – short and sweet … cheers to you both – Hilary
LikeLiked by 1 person
Short and sweet is valuable, Hilary. Thanks!
LikeLike
I think I get it. Very well explained Jacqui.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks to Ryan!
LikeLike
Yes, flowery tags do make the ‘window pane foggy’…this post reminds me of William Saroyan whose dialogue tags wiped off the story to the extent of laughing them off! Then there were James Joyce and Virginia Woolf who didn’t care to add any tags to their dialogues. In both cases the burden fell on the readers. 🙂 Thanks for sharing such a thoughtful post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, the extreme. I confess to slipping too far that direction at times and my beta readers have to pull me back!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reading helps us a lot, most of the self-correcting techniques come from reading different genres and authors. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
So helpful. Thanks again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always good to be reminded of this.
LikeLike
Another get post thanks for all the info.
‘ Juneta @ Writer’s Gambit
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Juneta. A good reminder to all of us.
LikeLike
Good stuff! Great examples, too. Thanks for that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure. Ryan’s a good writer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Grace The Mystic, Award Winning Author.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the reblog, Grace. Ryan did a great job, didn’t he?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes Ryan did a great job
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for the insights into balance. It seems our mind seeks balances not just in writing. Last week, I attended an art demonstration. The artist showed that to be good paintings they need balances of sizes, shapes, and colors.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is true of everything, innit. Clever to apply that to art also.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for a great post. I must confess that I am very poor at writing dialogue.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It just takes some work and lots of attention. Then, it becomes habit to do it right. You’ll get there!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is excellent advice for writers at all levels. But if I have to place blame, I go back to high school teachers who encouraged awful writing styles. I guess they wanted to see our vocabulary lists in action. Pare it down, get more punch. Jacqui, thanks for hosting Ryan Lanz whose advice is genuinely useful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it’s changed since you and I were in high school. I know in my college writing classes, they started disabusing me of the creative dialogue tags.
LikeLike
I was in high school a very long time ago.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent article, and a lesson most writers need early on. I know I did!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. When I did a search of my blog for the last time I talked about dialogue, it was 5-6 year ago! Probably when I struggled with it. I’m so glad Ryan came up with this post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I try to write dialogue as I see the scene in my head. I use ‘said’ and ‘ask’ when I feel the distinction of who is talking is needed but not otherwise. I do use action beats but when I feel the dialogue has a lot of importance, the action beats are left behind.
Yes, Jacqui, I did start out with flowery tags until I read that most people skip right over them wanting to get on with the story.
LikeLiked by 2 people
So did I. It was difficult to give them up, wasn’t it?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Surprisingly, I was relieved. I was so tired of having to figure out what word to use that had not been used too recently just to describe how a character said something or other.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Excellent tips. I made the same rooky mistake in the beginning of wanting to vary my dialog tags. Fortunately, that was corrected early. Another tip is to vary the placement in the sentence. I just read a story where every sentence ended with he said or she said. It was almost unreadable. Great post. 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great point. ‘Said’ goes from being invisible to irritating to ‘I’m quitting this book’.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love the post. I tend to be verbose and would probably write and write and write. I made a deliberate attempt with my poetic memoir to keep the poems tight and say just enough to spark imaginations. Happy writing to you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Poetic memoir–what a great idea. I have to go over and see what that looks like.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Be my guest. I am on Amazon as well as other sites. Enjoy the read. I find each of the poems evokes memories from the reader. it’s a great conversation piece. All the best!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for saying so, Mary Ann. Thanks for stopping by.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great tips. There is a story I read regularly (not on blogs, it’s a fanfic) that really would be an excellent story if it wasn’t for the criminal overuse of adverbs in dialogue tags. I tend to agree with Mr. King on this one. A very occasional adverb might be okay in the narrative, but never, never, never in dialogue. It’s something I’m very aware of nipping in the bud in my own writing, and it’s good to see others dedicating some word space to talking about this. I get the feeling a lot of inexperienced writers don’t have faith in their story to stand on its own, so they feel the need to over-use dialogue tags to clarify the action and add colour, when in fact, it does the opposite.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You are so right. I regularly search my story for ‘ly’ endings and try to exorcise them. It takes more than a few times through to convince myself they aren’t needed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Constant vigilance is a necessity. Otherwise they spread like chicken pox. 😮
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think my trouble with fiction was, I rushed a lot and omitted words, while if I couldn’t find the correct word or way to describe an emotion – I wrote w-a-y too much!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Every writer I know does that–repeat ideas to make sure we’re clear. The annoying part is having to go through and delete them all in the edit process.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brother – does that ever play havoc with my word count!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My current WIP–I’ve whittled it from 100,000 to just under 80,000. I’m worried it’ll get too short!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is definitely a keeper, Jacqui! Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I haven’t thought about dialogue tags in quite a while so I’m glad Ryan suggested this as a guest post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for reading, Jill.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I have the reverse problem. More what I should put in, rather than leave out…
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s interesting. I’m trying to imagine what that looks like.
LikeLiked by 1 person
my writing is too tight sometimes, I should use more words…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the reblog!
LikeLiked by 1 person