I’m madly working on my book launch, scheduled for March 7th. So, instead of writing a new article, I’m reposting this from a few years ago for anyone who didn’t read it then:
My efriend, Kirk Allmond, had a hilarious rundown of what NOT to say to a writer. Well, they were all true, but I still couldn’t stop laughing. Truisms like, “Leave a writer alone when they’re writing. You have no idea how difficult it is to enter the zone.”
So I decided to put together my own list of how to talk to a writer. See if you agree:
- You can’t scare me. I’m a writer.
- Patience and writing is an oxymoron
- Patience and writers aren’t friends
- Must. Remember. To. Eat.
- Some days, writing looks a lot like work.
- I successfully spelled ‘Worcestershire’ today in my book.
- There are days I wouldn’t know a good plot twist if I woke up next to one.
- Trying to write good dialogue is like trying to ignore a rejection letter.
- Writing after the 100th rejection is what Oprah might call a life-defining moment.
- Understanding a writer who’s in the zone is like understanding the meaning of life.
- Some days, I need a map to find my muse.
- This is my writer’s face. It’s easily confused with my ‘go away’ face.
- My head is like a bad neighborhood none of my characters want to live in.
- Despite my past experience with agents, my mind is open to a miracle.
- I keep a portrait of Mark Twain in my attic [think: The Picture of Dorian Gray].
I have more pithy ideas for you, but I have a book to write. Well, I’ll just look in on Instagram…
More humor-and-writing posts:
Inspirational and Humorous Quotes–Part I
How to Add Humor to Dull Characters
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Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy, the Rowe-Delamagente thrillers, and the Man vs. Nature saga. She is also the author/editor of over a hundred books on integrating tech into education, adjunct professor of technology in education, blog webmaster, an Amazon Vine Voice, a columnist for TeachHUB and NEA Today, and a freelance journalist. Look for her next prehistoric fiction, Survival of the Fittest March 2019. You can find her tech ed books at her publisher’s website, Structured Learning
Great post – I needed some comic relief today!
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I want to sell my novel but I need to publish it but there is no money I need help you are my last hope please.
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It doesn’t take a lot of money to publish. Time, though. Feel free to browse the articles for more details.
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I try to take life lightly. Otherwise, who knows what I would do!
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great post 👍
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Thanks!
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Oh my did I learn a lot reading your post & the comments…shhhhhhh! Hahahaha
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Hehee–fun being a writer, innit?
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I love this post, Jacqui. I particularly liked Understanding a writer who’s in the zone is like understanding the meaning of life and Despite my past experience with agents, my mind is open to a miracle.
Wishing you lots of success with all your books! ❤
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Someone who isn’t a writer would think that’s humorous. Those of us there, know it’s real. Oh yeah!
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“This is my writer’s face. It’s easily confused with my ‘go away’ face.
My head is like a bad neighborhood none of my characters want to live in.”
These two are golden.
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They are fun, aren’t they–and true. I have one of those resting faces that does not invite interruption!
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Same, yet people don’t seem to care. Or maybe they just can’t read?
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Hey jacqui, nice article and Congratulations on your book launch.
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Thanks so much! This is more fun than editing, that’s for sure!
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I am taking the steps of becoming a new writer, so much to learn. I enjoyed your humorous article and congratulations on your new release. Cindy
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Welcome to our wonderful community! I look forward to chatting.
Can I make one suggestion: Link your gravatar to wherever you are online–a blog, Facebook, wherever. That way, nosy people like me can explore everything about you! For instance, that picture behind you–the guy with the cowboy hat. I love Westerns.
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That’s my Son, he found his true identity when he was 13 being a country boy, he loves the country life. He is now 43, he loves taking pictures of the country. My first post of Little Bit of Heaven is a picture that I took off my front porch. Very new with all this blog stuff, but will certainly take your wonderful advise. Thank you
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That is an iconic picture of the old west. I love it!
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very interesting article. Thank you for sharing! Trish Estabrook
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And true, don’t you think?
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This is so true and so humorous at the same time
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We are quirky–we writers–and proud of it!
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All true! It is hard to get back into the zone after interruptions.
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I’m struggling with that right now. I had to see my CPA about tax returns, came home to work on my book and think I’ll just read instead!
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Lol, there’s some good ones there. I like the bad neighborhood reference- that’s my head for sure!
Enjoy your book launch, this looks like another winner!
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You get insight into how my writing goes. My head is crazy!
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Loved this: ‘Understanding a writer who’s in the zone is like understanding the meaning of life.’ Good luck with your launch.
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I hate getting interrupted when I’m lost in my writing. I can nicely type while someone’s talking to me and actually look like I’m listening–just don’t expect an answer!
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It’s like I’m not present, and I’m not.
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Great list, I’m going to put a picture of Katherine Mansfield in my attic, right now. Hope the book launch preparations are progressing. Good luck.
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That one would be wonderful. Whatever you do, don’t make it a picture of yourself! Hope to see you Thursday!
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do you have a book launch on 7 March this year Jacqui? which book is this? i liked especially your point about some days needing a map to find your writing muse. so true.
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I do have one coming up–Wednesday! It’s for Survival of the Fittest. Thanks for asking–I’m beyond excited about it.
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fantastic. congratulations. you’re churning them out !
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This ones from me: Tell me why I do this again?
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That may be the best one, Bryan!
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Ohhhhh, these are good! Glad you reposted, ’cause I didn’t see them the first time. Or I did, but my writing brain is full with plot twists that aren’t twisting. ;-0
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It was quite a while ago–the original posting. I think I didn’t have a lot of followers then. I’m glad you like them!
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Good luck for the launch Jacqui! And thanks for the smiles!
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Thanks, Susan! I too needed a bit of humor so decided this would be a good publication.
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One of my favourite scenes in The Shining is when Wendy brings Jack tea and asks how his writing is going. Though she’s trying to be supportive she conspires to say something facile about the process. “Yea,” he says sarcastically, “that’s all it is!”
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Haven’t seen that but you make me want to find it. That is how most people think of writing–words on paper, shake them up, whine a lot, do it all again.
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I like patience and writing is an oxymoron!
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Well, it definitely is for me!
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This was really funny. Wishing the best for your launch.
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Thanks, Kymber. I’m also hoping for the best!
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hahaha this is so true. And i just started a blog,and i have been contemplating to do so,because finding content as a writer is hard
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Welcome to the blogosphere!
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lol, yeah I snickered. I’m working on a book launch too for the first time. Good luck with yours.
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Go get ’em! For both of us!
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You made me laugh. So many statements I can identify with.
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It’s nice to NOT take ourselves seriously, innit?
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I’ve often been accused of having a resting bitch face. Could that be my writer’s ‘go away’ face? 😉
Hope your launch goes with a bang!
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Ha! What a term! And yes, I’d say it is so now you can decode it for everyone who thinks that horrid term.
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Jacqui, laughing, I agree with the whole list! Humor saves the writing day for me. My writing face confused with the go away face? Not to my dogs! I just add, I’m busy writing! Happy book launch! Congratulations! 📚🎶Christine
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Thank you so much, Christine. I am so glad to get this one out of the gates. Yay!
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All of these are great, but this is my favorite: “My head is like a bad neighborhood none of my characters want to live in.”
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Doesn’t it feel that way at times? Who would go there? But we’re stuck in it!
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This one: This is my writer’s face. It’s easily confused with my ‘go away’ face.
I found myself giving my daughter that face last night, hoping she would catch on. Either she’s not that savvy, or she willfully ignored me.
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That’s so funny. Kids have a way of seeing stuff that we don’t. I think she saw right through your trickery!
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Only I did want her to go away, and yet she still ignored me. For shame.
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Hehee! I love my kids but really don’t miss those days!
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This is my writer’s face. It’s easily confused with my ‘go away’ face. – my favourite, Jacqui. I wear this one a lot.
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Me too–even when I don’t plan to! And, sadly (or happily) it works.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you for a really funny read this morning.
If I woke up next to a good plot twist, I might be seeing a lawyer. Take that any way you choose.
I can’t even pronounce Wurschercher, forget spelling it, but that doesn’t prevent me from dribbling in a few drops where I think it might repair a bland dish.
And as for being scared – every waking moment and most of my sleeping ones as well.
Be well, friend.
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I’m here for you girlfriend!
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“This is my writer’s face. It’s easily confused with my ‘go away’ face.” Ha! I love that one. So true. ❤
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Here’s what they look like. You’ll immediately see the confusion:

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Ha ha ha ha. So funny. Yes, I can see the confusion. 🙂
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This was great!😀I can relate to so many points on that list. Thanks for sharing!
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I’m glad you liked it–from experience, believe me!
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Hi Jacqui – talking to a writer is challenging … to put it mildly – especially as our minds can wander along and across many paths – life is interesting. Good luck with getting things organised – I thought you hadn’t sent me the details … but google lost it somehow – never know how things disappear … but they do. Found it and will look over it at the weekend – to make sure I tie in … good luck and cheers Hilary
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I had a hiccup in my email for about 4 days–that could be why you didn’t get them. I have no idea why it broke or got fixed. Gotta love technology!
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Excellent!
As for Worcestershire, it’s as hard to pronounce as it is to spell.
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I’m sitting here tangling my tongue up as I read. Yeah, it is.
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Truth in humor is the best!!
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It is innit? I tried to have a humorous character in my books but I’m just not that person. My husband, though–he is hilarious.
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I’ve tried humor, it seems to come natural to some people, but I was not successful!!
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A welcome list of smiles Jacqui. Best wishes for your launch.
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Nice for the middle of the week, innit?
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A great boost.
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Reblogged this on Sleepy Book Dragon.
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Thanks for sharing!
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They are all very good, but one that really stuck out for me was ¨Trying to understand a writer that is in the zone is like understanding the meaning of life.”
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I don’t even hear people when I’m ‘in the zone’. They probably think I’m rude. Sigh.
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These are so true! Hilarious, Jacqui!
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In some cases, sadly true!
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog.
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Thanks for sharing, Chris!
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Welcome, Jacqui 🤗
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All the best for the book launch! If you’d like to write a guest post about the writing craft and connect it to your book, would be very happy to host you 🙂
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Thanks, Damyanti. Let me see if I can come up with a great topic. Hmmm…. I see your email on your blog’s About page–good contact?
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Ha ha! Like the ones about that mythical location – the zone.
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The escapist in my loves it!
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Very funny Jacqui, and an exciting time. x
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To that, best not even to talk to me during the pre-publication phase!
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