This post is for Alex Cavanaugh’s Insecure Writers Support Group (click the link for details on what that means and how to join. You will also find a list of bloggers signed up to the challenge that are worth checking out. The first Wednesday of every month, we all post our thoughts, fears or words of encouragement for fellow writers.
This month’s question — What’s the one thing about your writing career you regret the most? Were you able to overcome it?
The always-awesome co-hosts this month are Erika Beebe, Olga Godim, Sandra Cox, Sarah Foster, and Chemist Ken!
xx
I sat in my new X Chair for a long time, trying to figure out what I regretted about my writing career. I finished an entire cuppa, downed my morning pills, and listened to most of Beethoven’s Ninth (well, maybe half), but came up empty. So I searched the question on DDG (the safe version of Google). Here are my responses to what the Harvard Business Review came up with as the most popular regrets people have about careers:
1. I wish I hadn’t taken the job for the money. No writer does that!
2. I wish I had quit earlier. I occasionally wish I’d started writing earlier (I waited until my kids were in college and not so needy), but I see no last book, no too-bored-to-continue, no burn-out, no ran-out-of-ideas. Do I wish I’d started earlier? No. I was busy raising my children. All you parents out there–you know that is a 25-hour-a-day job!
3. I wish I had the confidence to start my own business. Did that, as have many Indie writers. It makes publishing our books so much easier.
4. I wish I had used my time at school more productively. Not at all. My BAs in Economics and Russian, and the MBA in Business add a depth of understanding to my stories I wouldn’t have been able to add otherwise.
5. I wish I had acted on my career hunches. Did that! In my early 30’s, I quit a good job to be a dancer, bought a studio, got swindled out of it, and went back to traditional jobs. I don’t regret that, either. I learned a lot about people by owning a failed dance studio.
When I think back on my writing career, I can’t help but grin. To discover writing–to call myself an author–is a gift, albeit with some assembly required. No problem. I’m your girl for doing that.
I look forward to reading your ideas on this question!
#iwsg #amwriting
@TheIWSG
Here’s the sign-up link if the image above doesn’t work:
https://forms.aweber.com/form/87/838503387.htm.
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular prehistoric fiction saga, Man vs. Nature which explores seminal events in man’s evolution one trilogy at a time. She is also the author of the Rowe-Delamagente thrillers and Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. Her non-fiction includes over a hundred books on integrating tech into education, reviews as an Amazon Vine Voice, a columnist for NEA Today, and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. Look for her next prehistoric fiction, Natural Selection, Winter 2022.
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I have no regrets either. Everything happened when it was meant to be.
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Yes, that’s how I look at it, too.
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No regrets – that’s a great place to be.
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Isn’t it? Being a writer feels like always having a chance to fix things. Who could regret that?
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It would be good to fix things through writing. I hadn’t thought about that possibility in some areas of my life. Now you’ve given me something to think about. Thank you.
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The only regret I have is I wish to have more time to write but I’ll take what I can.
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I did wish for that for a long time. Now, I’m good. I actually bought my Peloton Tread to get me AWAY from writing!
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Happy New Year, Jacqui!
I love Beethoven’s Ninth – a wonderful piece of music, also his Moonlight Sonata.
The word regret isn’t one I’d use when referring to the writer’s journey.
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It’s one of my husband’s favorites. There is so much in that piece. Thanks for visiting, Michelle.
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Well, that’s awesome to hear! Stay golden!
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Thanks, Sam! I’m a bit bogged down at the moment, but I’ll get over it.
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Wishing you renewed energy.
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Impressed with your degrees. I came close to going for a masters in Economics and took quite a few Econ classes as an undergrad… As for regrets, I do wish I would have spent more time learning how to write in college. I hated my English classes and accepted passing grades. My strength, especially in college, was in research. It still is, I think. Blessings in 2022.
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I loved college. I took far too many classes every quarter, but couldn’t stand not learning everything I could. That’s interesting you are into research. I definitely see that in your sermons.
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HI Jacqui, I don’t think I’ve been writing long enough to have regrets. I also don’t write for money but rather for personal gratification. Dancing is not a career I would have associated with you, although I love watching dancing and can see the attraction. Terence and I went to dancing lessons for 2 years during one of my shorter term fads. The studio closed and I never looked for a new one.
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How funny, about the dance lessons. It is fun to dance with a husband. My husband doesn’t dance and I have rarely done so since marrying him. Not sure what that says!
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Sometimes you have to compromise in marriage. I had to go to a whiskey distillery in Scotland and missed out on a fantastic cathedral and castle.
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Ha! You earned your wifely stripes with that choice.
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A fantastic post, Jacqui! I love that you have no regrets at all about being a writer (I don’t, either, even without accomplishing this much) and that you keep sounding so incredibly positive about your career, one you thoroughly enjoy.
I learned a few more things about you, like your knowledge of Russian and your attempt at becoming a dancer and owning a studio. The way you answered this month’s question is creative and entertaining. I’d never think about Googling an IWSG topic. Good on you!
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Thanks, Liesbet. Once a writer, there’s no going back, is there. For example, you are a committed wanderer, adventurer, seeker, but also, you will forever more be a writer. Ship’s sailed, horses are out of the barn, sun has set–that will never change. Me too!
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I agree with you, Jacqui. No regrets. Lots of people would disapprove of my choices, but it’s my life, and I’ve accepted all the ups and downs. I didn’t know you owned a dance studio! I studied classical ballet from ages 8-16. The last 3 years were gruelling with festival competitions, exams, and performance rehearsals resulting in a 7-day a week commitment. I wasn’t suited for the life.
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Yikes! Such a commitment at 16! Glad you switched to writing, Debra.
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Me too. I wasn’t really cut out for that career, but I sure admire dancers of all stripes.
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Great answers–so glad you are writing happily and publishing! I am just writing for now, but may publish soomething again. How did you start your own business and publish your books more easily? I think your life would make a very interesting memoir–have you tried that genre?
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I had a lot of books I published for my teaching business. I needed to hold them close so it made sense to start my own publishing company. Since then, I’ve liked that I can keep all of my fiction also tied to me, not free ISBNs with Amazon.
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It’s good that you can take your negative experiences and use them in a positive way. It’s nice to have no regrets.
Happy 2022!
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I think that’s easier because I didn’t let writing conflict with child rearing. There’s only one choice in that one.
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What a journey Jacqui. The universe always takes us where we need to be, and away from where we shouldn’t go. It’s all the life lessons we learn along the way chocked up at experience. 🙂 Good for you!
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I believe that though I don’t always like it!
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You are not alone on that. 🙂
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I didn’t know you had a dance background, how cool! It’s hard to have regrets when you’re doing something you love, right? ❤
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Yes, absolutely. I don’t regret my dancing even though I got swindled. I learned a lot.
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A wonderful reflection, Jacqui. You managed to put a positive spin on every ‘could-be’ negative!
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I do tend to be that person, pretty positive. So it comes naturally.
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I’m glad that you don’t have any regrets. That’s wonderful!
Happy New Year!
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Thanks, Chrys! My laissey faire attitude does annoy my children at times!
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I feel the same as you and many other bloggers feel about regrets. I have none, just grateful for the opportunity to do what I love.
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That’s one thing I’m thankful to Amazon for.
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Great post and I love the positive spin you put on each of the things listed that should have been “regrets”
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Leave it to Harvard to forget the positive side of things. Life is serious, but not at the expense of fun!
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Hi Jacqui – boy do you have some back story/stories to draw on … amazing – so pleased to read. Congratulations to your successes so far, and many more ahead – Happy New Year and cheers! Hilary
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Thanks, Hilary! I don’t see myself as terribly interesting so don’t talk about my background much. Thanks for caring!
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You should!!! Cheers – but I hope you draw on those experiences and use them?? I’d love to know more … one day perhaps … cheers again! H
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I am in awe of people who make their living by writing. For me, it’s all about trying something fun in retirement.
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I think ‘making it’ has a lot to do with being in the right place at the right time. Yes–lots of talent–but some really good storytellers just don’t find the right connections.
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Uno escribe porque lo necesita mas allá de vender libros. Te mando un beso
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Truer words never spoken. Yes, I do.
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I admire you for not regretting anything, as everything that happened to you was either a lesson and an inspiration for a story. So many stories in your life! You’ll never run out of ideas.
My only regret is I didn’t start writing sooner. But perhaps I wasn’t ready.
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I would see it that way–that the time wasn’t right. There’s so much to do in life!
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You know, before kids I was too busy with work to really focus on my writing. I feel like I ended up starting at exactly the right time. Love your addressing of common regrets.
The Warrior Muse
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Great way to say it–start at exactly the right time. Thanks!
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As a parent of young kids, I know what you mean about finding time! And I agree that life experience makes writing so much richer 🙂
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I am in awe over parents who write books while raising young children. I sure couldn’t do it!
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It takes a lot of balance and support, that’s for sure! 🙂
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Fabulous answer! I’m with you – I couldn’t have focused on writing with littles in the house. I cherish every step that’s brought me here 🙂
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I love writing when I can lose myself in it, for hours. 20 stolen minutes here and there–I don’t think I’d do it.
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I write, but it’s never been a career for me so no regrets. I doubt I could have made a career of – I’m so much better at other things. 😉
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I still consider mine a hobby though it takes the biggest part of my day!
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I couldn’t start writing any earlier. The last ten years of my full-time job were more than full-time, plus fighting the traffic. By the time after dinner, my brain was dead. Cancer made me retire one year earlier than I wanted. It took me many years for my brain to be active again after chemo.
All of your points were right on, Jacqui! Everything has its timing and you were riding along nicely.
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Oh my–my mom had chemo–two rounds of it. It is exhausting, right? How could you plot and build characters when all you wanted to do was sleep?
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Exactly, Jacqui! I had four rounds of chemo. Had surgery after two rounds, and another surgery after two more rounds, then radiation. Not counting the surgery I had before the cancer turned from stage II to stage IV.
After the first round of chemo, the women’s lit group thought I had all the time in the world and invited me to join the group. I didn’t tell them I couldn’t even walk still and had a couple seconds of delayed reaction.
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Oh, Miriam, I can’t believe how strong you must be to go through all that. Something amazing awaits you in the future.
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It was just basic survival, Jacqui! I know I didn’t want to die because I wanted to see my daughter getting married and having kids. That was the motivation behind my fight though.
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Hooray, Jacqui!
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Thank you! I added a class for my HS students (back when I taught in a building) so they could write a book in a year. They loved it!
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Wonderful!
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Wow! I learned a lot about you! I never knew you studied Russian or that you danced. What kind of dance was it? Modern, ballet, ballroom? I studied modern and ballroom, but not to the level to teach it. And I barely speak halting Spanish.
I already knew you wrote good books, and I’m glad to hear you have no regrets about it. 🙂
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I taught ballroom–loved it. Danced professionally but never won competitions. Didn’t matter. It spoke to my soul. And now, I write!
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“I occasionally wish I’d started writing earlier (I waited until my kids were in college and not so needy)”…. LOL. You took the words right out of my mouth, Jacqui. Super fun post. No regrets. 🙂
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But if I had started earlier, I’d probably think I had short-changed my kids. They are wonderful adults. I wouldn’t change anything about how I raised them.
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Yup. No regrets on either count is just fine. 🙂
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No regrets is a great frame of mind! I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, but I’ve really only pursued it as a hobby. I never experienced any serious stress in terms of livelihood – something else always paid the bills. And I don’t regret that at all.
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Me, either. So often problems teach us so why regret them? Thanks for stopping by, Lee!
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I LOVE that you have no regrets and majored in Russian:)
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Well, I do kinda regret that… OK, maybe not.
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Heh:)
I think it’s wondrous.
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I like your no regrets approach, Jacqui. Other than just jumping into earlier and connecting locally more, I am where I want to be or where I should be at this point.
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“I am where I should be”–that is such a wonderful sentiment. I agree. Sure, I too should connect more locally, but the stress would be horrid.
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Well said, Jacqui!!
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Thanks, Pat. I checked for your newsletter signup on your blog page, or the blog… I’ll just have to chat with you in our biweekly Zoom meetings.
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I loved how you “investigated” regret and discovered you really had none! Great job and a great way to kick off 2022!
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Hehee. That is so me!
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The only regrets I might have are the times when I prioritized something else over writing. Although even those mistakes were learning experiences that thought me how important writing really is to me.
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Or it was healthy. I never want to be obsessed with writing. I purposely picked up a new hobby–Peloton Tread–to give me breaks from writing.
Which I’m now becoming obsessed with.
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What a fascinating life! Love you twist to the question today too. You’re living proof that our dreams do come true 🙂
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I think I just didn’t know what I wanted to do. Until writing, which came late.
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What’s this? A new chair? Did you get an X-Chair for X-mas? So cool! And what’s this about Russian? I didn’t know you studied Russian. That’s even cooler than the chair!
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Oh this chair is amazing. I can spin a full circle with one tap of a foot! Yep, Russian was cool. I got to read their history from their perspective. It gave new meaning to the idea that history is written by the victor.
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It’s gratifying to look back and know you did some things right!
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So true, though beyond my kids, I’m not sure what that is! I’ll keep digging.
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The comments are as interesting as the post. A dancer and an MBA? Wow! Ok, that makes us half alike…the MBA half 🙂 And my mom tells me I never took advice either. I have been writing for under 10 years. Sometimes when I meet a new person and introductions take place with, I think the part that catches most people’s attention is the writer part, not the ‘work’ part that I have done for much longer.
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That’s true, Ankur–about ‘writing’ grabbing attention over work. Everyone seems to have an interior writer. I am waiting for your next book. What’s the timeline?
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Thanks for asking, Jacqui. That is great encouragement. In a bit of a writing ‘funk’ currently. No timelines yet but setting one might be a good way to get moving.
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Well, to be honest, I never have a timeline for my books. One starts when the other ends but I never quite know when I will finish. Having said that, I do remember my Milestones in my sidebar!
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I feel I’m where I’m supposed to be in life, and that everything happens for a reason, so no regrets.
I learned quite a lot about you from this post, Jacqui. I had no idea you once owned a dance studio or have a degree in Russian. How cool!
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I’m with you, Mae–I’m where I should be. Yeah, I’d say for much of my life, I’ve been driven by curiosity. Good or bad, that’s what happened.
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Wonderful
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Thank you!
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I just learned so much about you in this short post! What a fascinating history. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and processes, Jacqui.
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My poor mother gave up trying to give me advice. I remember the day she declared herself my friend–no more mothering!
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That’s a momentous day, indeed.
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I love your positive attitude, Jacqui! If I’m being honest, I do regret letting my day job interfere with my own writing for so many years.
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And then you remember it paid the bills until writing could!
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My creative writing is never going to pay the bills–but that’s okay. I do it for the love of it.
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Mine does better than I expected. I think my tiny niche of prehistoric fiction is why. I thought it would be too small, but I think the readers are on a constant hunt for books in their genre. Seems to work for me.
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You’ve landed in a very good place!
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Most of those really don’t apply to writers, do they?
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Only in large sense–you’re right. Harvard didn’t have one for us!
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Jacqui I learned more of who you are today. A dancer, how fun, me too. Although I did not own a dance studio. I have been a writer in many forms all my life. My work resume reads like war and peace. In my many jobs I wrote marketing and business development stories. So making stuff up has been part of my life. I had no idea at age sixty-five I would begin writing fiction. I found in retirement from business I had a lot of creativity to express. Writing fiction had been a big goal however, I never had the time.With my business background I have been able to use my marketing skills to promote my work. I have no regrets in any of my writing. Its like I am taking whatever I have done before and added it to the next task whatever that is. What I love is making new professional friends in the business of writing. We live solitary lives in our own world of imagination. To connect with one another and share our hard work makes my life better. No regrets, ever.
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You said that perfectly, Grace–“taking whatever I have done before and added it to the next task “. Me, too and I love doing it that way.
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Hi, dear Jacqui,
a lot of authors have been working as booksellers, owned bookshops, were editors, translators or taught. If you want to read about it, have a look at Martin Latham’s “The Bookseller’s Tale” (Penguin 2020) esp. chap. 12 and 13 (a book for bookish people).
My teaching and running several bookshops didn’t interfere with my writing, actually it helped it. Especially a bookshop is a place for getting inspired. I learned so much from the customers. If you are only writing as an author you run into the problem to loose your grounding. Your stories become too narcissistic. Well, you can compensate this with lecture tours where you meet your readers. Meeting them on social media doesn’t have such an effect as readings and book signings in bookshops. The reader wants to touch you and the booksellers have to know you.
Wishing you all the best for 2022
Klausbernd 🙂
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I looked at some of the books you’ve written, Klausbernd–so much about dreams! I can only imagine how your readers would flock to meet you. I’ve never done an in-person meeting or book signing. I’m pretty shy for that. I’d come see you if you were ever in Southern California!
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Derar Jacqui,
I am retired for more than ten years because I was tired of talks, readings and book signings. I only had talks and book signings in the US in New York City, Burlington/VT and Portland/Maine because I am actually too shy for talks in English. These American events were organised by Element Publ., my agent for the US (later I changed to Barnes and Noble).
I was invited to UC Berkeley once for a scientific talk about the grammar of symbolism but no book of mine was published in the US then.
Keep well and happy
Klausbernd 🙂
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Symbolism is really appealing to me. Thanks for sharing your story.
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I didn’t have much time to write when I was raising my daughter and working to support my family. Like you, I don’t regret my decisions either.
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Yep, that was me, too. It felt good, and writing is something you can do later. No one says you have to be young to be an author.
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I regret how busyness coerced me into abandoning my writing dream. Compound that regret with thinking I could write a book readers will love without a plan. I finally learned how to overcome busyness and become a better writer. Now I have the joy of sharing what I learned with others—and that means no more regrets! Thanks Jacqui for all you do to help us become better writers.
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I like to be organized in my writing so that really appeals to me, Grant.
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No regrets! I love your positive outlook, Jacqui. Life’s too short for those, anyways. 🙂
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I just keep moving forward. Luckily, my kids are grown, doing well, so I don’t have those types of this-or-that decisions
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Since I never planned on having a writing career, I don’t have any regrets. I loved your responses, Jacqui!
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And yet you have one, and an excellent one. How stuff sneaks up on us once in a while. Kudos to you, Jill!
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When it comes to my writing career I have no regrets. It would have been nice to have started earlier but like you, I was raising kids and working to pay the bills. I also had my own business for 7 years. A good learning experience.
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All of that in your background, I bet it made your current writing richer, more real. Thanks for sharing, Darlene.
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No regrets – that’s a very special place to be.
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Isn’t that the truth. Thanks, Lynette.
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